I can’t have what I want

This is a hot topic for many who has read about The Secret. It may also be a controversial statement for those who are able to get what they want.

Let me share the principle of The Secret: You can have what you want.
Stephen Mitchell (Byron Katie’s hubby) in respond to a writer who request the difference between The Work and The Secret has this to say: You can want what you have http://www.thework.com/newsletter_april07.html

I will put a fresh perspective to both that statement:

Your want is what you have and what you want you can’t have.

Both statement seems to contradict each other. Before I go further on this I wish to complete the topic statement made by my meditation teacher: You can’t have what you want. What you have is only suffering. It is important first to recognize that the statement and also all the writings I have done so far is not attacking or defending any subject but rather exposing what the mind is all about. And the word mind is Nature – it does not belongs to me or you except as an experience.

For anything to come into result, conditions has to be laid for it to happen. We tend to forget this common sense. We tend to ignore the journey though it is the most obvious experience that finally lead us to the effect. In fact the effect is, most of the time, an anti-climax. That reminded me back of another statement made by one of my teacher, Hari: Your creation is not at all important as your ability to create. Now when I want something, I am already ascertaining myself that I don’t want something that is already existing. At the same time I also don’t want my wanting to fail. For example, if I want a bigger car, I am already saying that the car I am having is not good enough for me. I am also saying, verbally or mentally, that at all cost I am going to have it – implying that I don’t want to experience not getting it. So I can’t want something and yet don’t want another thing at the same time. Both are the opposite sides of the coin. There is no separation in them.

Whenever I want something, cause and conditions has to happen for the result to occur. Recognize that wanting is one, and creating the cause and condition is another. If I want something and yet do not work on the cause and condition can the result happen? The answer is obvious. The cause and condition are the ones that create the result, not the wanting though it seems like the wanting is the initial point for the cause to arise – untrue. If it is true, then all wanting will have a predictable causes. Do you get the same result of the same wanting, all the time?

There is another way of seeing wanting, and that is creation. Wanting is not creation. Wanting has desire whereas creation has creativity. When I create something, I am creating the effect and surrender the causes to Nature. I trust what comes to me next is supporting my creation and thus surrender myself to the causes that is beyond my comprehension. My creation is out of sheer joy instead of the insatiable wanting. Wanting has fear of not getting, creation has joy of manifesting. Both have different intention and motivation. Let me illustrate a simple example: If I want a carpark at a certain location there is a possibility of me not getting it as at the back of my mind I fear of not getting it. Fear is a meaning not wanting it to happen (don’t want). If I create a carpark and leave the rest to Nature, the possibility of me getting it is extremely high.

Let me come back to the new phrase: Your want is what you have and what you want you can’t have. Whenever I am wanting I am already having that wanting in my mind and in that wanting I can’t have what I want. In other words my wanting is only wishful thinking.